


The pained mind of you

by Manisha_Walletje



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alien Biology, Alien Character(s), Blood and Gore, Blood and Torture, Dib Being an Asshole (Invader Zim), Dib is Of Legal Age (Invader Zim), Escape, Eventual Happy Ending, Gore, Heavy Angst, Laboratories, M/M, Medical Trauma, Older Dib (Invader Zim), Pain, Psychological Torture, Secret Crush, Stockholm Syndrome, Torture, Trauma, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:06:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25292101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manisha_Walletje/pseuds/Manisha_Walletje
Summary: When Zim gets rejected by his tallests he goes to Dib and lets him experiment on his body with the human scientists, Zim goes trough immense amounts of pain and sadly falls in love with the human and goes trough the experiments for Dib.(By the way I am sorry for any spelling problems, english isnt my first language and this is my first story on here)
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), Invader Skoodge & Zim, Invader Skoodge/Zim
Comments: 14
Kudos: 32





	1. Just another experiment.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Conquest](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5035129) by [stoicscripter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stoicscripter/pseuds/stoicscripter). 



> Be sure to know this fanfic will contain heavy abuse, and mind games being played with Zim.

Zim had been in the horrid lab for weeks now, or months, A year? Eh, he had forgotten the amount. The last time Zim had known freedom was, so damn long ago. How could Zim, even know?

A loud bang, erupted from the lab. It was Dib Membrane, adult now, he was so horrifying. He had been the one to make the sound. He had a large metal pipe that he'd bang against Zim's cell, from time to time.

It scared Zim, every, single, time.  
"Dib! Y- You scared me."  
Zim exclaimed, looking at Dib with the fakest smile he'd had. Dib immeadiately banged against the bars again, until Zim's fake smile left him and he cowered on the floor, trying to keep his hands from covering his antennae  
"Don't smile like that at me! I hate your dumb alien smile."

Dib's words always hurt, he always said mean things to Zim. But, Zim couldnt exactly leave now. Where would he even go, if he did escape?  
"I apolagize, I just want to make you stop b- banging the bars."  
Zim quivered as he looked at Dib's angry eyes  
"I dont care."  
The human male replied as he let the pipe clang onto the floor loudly

"We'll be starting a experiment soon, get ready or you'll be taken naked."  
Dib said to Zim as Zim softly smiled to try and make Dib happy  
"Okay Dib human, I- I hope my alien body is interesting to your resea-"  
Before Zim could finish Dib left the room.

Zim ended up crying for a few minutes, god he really was a failure wasn't he? The tallest didn't love him, and Dib didn't love him.

Zim started putting on his lab dress, slowly putting his arms trough the holes, as he zipped up the dress and soon put on the collar of it, snapping it shut around his neck.

Soon enough Dib came back to Zim's cell as he spoke once more  
"Out of the cell, or I'll beat you out."  
Zim smiled and nodded, quickly getting out and showing his wrists to Dib  
"There Dib human, I tried cleaning up my nails with cleansing chalk! Do you like it?"  
Dib looked at them, before putting the cuffs on Zim's wrists  
"Yeah, cool beans, I guess."  
Cool beans!! That was a good sign.

They walked to the testing chambers, as Zim smiled at Dib  
"Sooo how's your day been Dib thing?"  
Dib looked down at the alien, as he looked kinda pissed  
"I'm fine. Stop talking to me."  
Zim went quiet, as he stopped smiling and looked at the ground. So much had changed, atleast Dib would y'know be silly to him when he was younger. But now that he was older, he was so heartless. So angry.

As Zim and Dib entered the testing chamber Zim was told to sit on a metal table, like always. Usually Zim would jerk around and try to escape, but this time Zim would listen! Then Dib would like him!  
"So what are we doing today Dib human?"  
Zim asked Dib as there was a second silence before Dib walked over and shoved Zim down onto the table and started strapping him down  
"Ripping out your teeth."

Zim freaked out as he heard that, he quivered and shook around in his chains  
"No! You cant do that! Please I cant eat without them!!"  
As Dib grabbed the front of Zim's head, pulling it up a bit before slamming it back onto the metal which made Zim's mind ring in pain  
"Gh-ghuh Dib-"

It took a while for Zim's words to come out but all he could say was the enraged human's name  
"You listen to me, and you listen hard alien. I am not your friend, and I will make your life hell for the shit you've done to me."  
Zim almost went unconcious his head really hurt from the slam, but he payed attention as he said with a deep frown  
"I know."

A few quiet seconds passed, and Dib grabbed a metal tool. Zim shivered, and his instincts made him fight against his chains again.  
"N- No please"  
Dib slammed the tool against the edge of the metal table, making Zim's antennae shake at the loud sound near it. It made Zim shouted in pain

"Keep screaming, you deserve your pain."  
Dib said in reply to the shout, as he soon clawed Zim's mouth open with his chewed off nails. Yeah Dib chewed his nails, and yeah it made them hurt more  
"G- GaH! Ah!"  
Zim shook against his restraints again, making clanging noises from them, and his claws colliding

Sadly nothing worked, Zim was completely trapped.  
"Say aaah~"  
Dib chuckled out as he had a sick smile on his face, that face was what scared Zim, but it was also the face Zim fell in love with as Zim made his mouth open as his teeth clattered in fear  
"Good little alien."

Dib slowly put the tool halfway into Zim's mouth, as he clammed it against one of his teeth. Zim closed his eyes as he shivered, oh tallest please help, he didn't want this.

"One, two, three-"  
Zim whimpered waiting as the clamp was still on his teeth  
"Fouur~"  
Get on with it already! Please just do it, Zim is so afraid.  
"Five, six, sevennn~"  
He'd surely do it at the number ten, right?  
"Eight, nine, TEN!"  
Zim felt it pull a bit before stopping  
"Eleven, twelve-"  
Oh god, oh god, he's still counting! When is he-

Before Zim could finish his thoughts, his tooth was roughly pulled out, making Zim shout in pain. His throat scratchy as he choked on his scream, and could only sob  
"Thirteen."  
Dib said, as he smiled at Zim's tears.  
"A- Aaghh-"  
Zim whimpered as his whole body shivered at the pain, his pak lit up before Zim cried out

"No! Let it stay-"  
Dib kept quiet, as the pak stopped its light. Zim panted on the table, his body finally relaxing after a few seconds. Then Dib did it again, and again, and again, until his front teeth on the top and bottom were gone.  
"Dib Membrane, I think you should stop now, he's barely concious."

A female scientist said to Dib, Zim was indeed almost gone, he couldn't think straight, staring at Dib trying to listen to the words.  
"No, I want to keep going, get some medication to keep him concious."  
Zim couldn't hear the words as he softly said to Dib

"What d- did you- say-"  
His voice shook from the pain and his mind  
"Nothing, Zim."  
Dib replied with a soft smile, as Zim smiled back and put his head back on the metal table. He was just lying there, he wanted to fall asleep.

"Got the medication, Doctor membrane."  
"Thank you."  
Dib held something in his head before telling Zim  
"Open your mouth, Zim."  
Zim couldn't hear it as he whimpered out to Dib  
"Could you s- s- speak louder?"  
As Dib sighed and shook his head before getting down to Zim's antennae before whispering  
"Open your mouth, Zim."

Zim's body shivered from the breath on the antennae as he slowly opened his mouth back up  
"Ofcourse Dib l- lov-"  
Oh wait, he couldn't say that, he needed to wait a bit longer. Zim slammed his teeth shut before opening them again  
"Sorry I almost said lovch, it um, means dumbass?"  
Zim lied about that, it was a random word.

Dib believed it though, so he nodded  
"Good you didn't say that, or I would've slammed this into your skull."  
As he showed a hammer close to Zim's face, which made Zim almost break back into tears, he was so weak and his mind was ringing and numb.

Zim again opened his mouth as Dib put two pills into his mouth. They tasted horrible, all the pills did. But, he could take it.  
"W-What are these?"  
Zim asked as Dib replied  
"To keep you concious, you cant keep your eyes open for shit."

Hours passed as Zim was helped back into his cell, he had bruises everywhere, his fronth teeth gone, and his dress was thrown onto Zim after he was put in.  
"I- I hope you liked me, Dib."  
Zim looked up at Dib with a sad but loving smile, as Dib stared back. Emotionless.  
"No."

As Dib walked off.  
And Zim was left alone again.  
In the cold desolate cell.


	2. Questions in mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib goes to Zim for a few questions, and memories flood back like tidal waves.

As the cell room hummed from the amount of cameras, Zim sat in the middle in silence, his shrill little arms around his legs. Zim felt tired, and everything just..hurt. His whole body was still so broken from the experiment that happened a day ago, and all he could do really was shiver. Any movement at all felt so painful, he didn't want to move.

But despite that he moved his antennae at the sound of footsteps, next to his cellroom. It took a few seconds before Zim lifted his head and looked over to see the horrible Dib human, with a scientist next to him. Dib stared at Zim, and as the seconds passed Zim finally spoke. "What's wrong..?" Zim atleast let his teeth heal, it was so hard to speak for a long time. Y'know, with almost all of his teeth ripped out of his skull.

Dib took a second to think before he spoke aswell. "I am here to ask a few questions, I suppose you are obedient enough to answer." As Dib held up a metal collar in his hands with a chain around it, it gave off a menacing little red light and Zim shivered in fear. Despite that Zim said "Ofcourse, what do you ask of me?" As the other scientist slowly opened up the cage door, what if he got a scientist to open it up for him once? Trick a vulnerable human, to let him free? Ah, What are you thinking?! It's fine, just let yourself be the Dib humans' test subject!

Zim got approached by Dib and Zim quaked, his body wasn't strong enough to fight back! But as Zim closed his eyes, with his hands raised in the air even if it ached, all that happened was that the collar got placed around his thin neck. Zim slowly opened his eyes, as a low hum emitted from the collar, and the red light turned green.

Dib smiled. "Ah! It works!" Finally he genuinely smiled at Zim, it made Zim's insides squirm with those uhh, flappy earthling butter thingies? Why did humans always have such weird names for their, creepy crawly creatures? Zim soon got hoisted up by Dib, carried in his arms as Dib finally spoke, his smile..it was still there. "You should let yourself heal, spaceboy. The wounds won't exactly help with my tests, afterall." Zim smiled back, as he nodded. "Thank you, Dib human." As the light in his pak clicked on, and his body slowly started healing itself. 

Zim felt safe in the humans arms, nobody else would touch him like this, they were not allowed to. Zim was heavy, and he knew nobody would even be able to carry him like Dib could. His head rested against Dib's chest as it rose and fell with his lungs slowly. Soon enough a door hummed loudly and opened up, as he was carried into it. The room looked like the typical testing room but weirdly, it didn't have any weird equipement lying around except for a metal table for dissection, and a black desk chair. Zim was soon put atop the metal table, and the chain on the collar was snapped close onto a hook against it. But weirdly, nothing else. The Dib human sat down in the chair infront of Zim, as he softly but creepily smiled at the alien.

"So, what will you be doing today Dib?" Zim asked softly as Dib looked at the scientist next to him, who had a robotic clipboard in her hands to take notes. "Oh nothing much, remember I asked if you could answer some simple questions." Dib answered, and Zim nodded "Ah, I can do that!" A fake smile on the aliens face, this human was obviously gonna ask some really annoying things. "So how this works, I ask a question and you answer. If you lie, the collar shocks you." Dib explained, and Zim put his claws around the collar feeling around it. "You..you put a shock collar around me?" Zim said with a scared look, as Dib's smile grew wider with the scared face of Zim. "Ofcourse, we don't want you lying now do we?"

Zim gulped and kept silent, this is worrying for sure, if Zim didn't listen..how hard would it even shock him? Would it be too much for him and kill him? Oh irk. "You are right about that, Dib stink." Zim fake smiled again, he hasn't called Dib stinky for a while now, so the memories just creeped back to him for a second. Dib grumbled at that name, and replied angrily. "Just call me Dib, you space mongrel." His smile dissipating, Zim's body grew a bit cold again and he nodded. "Y-Yes, I am sorry Dib."

Soon enough, Dib started asking. "So, what do all your organs do?" As Zim looked at him with a angry, confused face. "What?! Wait, what do you mean?!" And Dib waited a second, before showing Zim a photo of his squeedlyspooch. "I know you have the super-organ, a uhh skidlyskoodge?"  
"Squeedlyspooch."  
"Yeah." Dib replied, and he kept talking. "You are pretty smart Zim. Explain to me, what does it all do?" Zim shuffled around on the metal table, crossing his legs as he then spoke "It regulates my breathing, heartbeat, the flow of blood, and-" Zim then stopped as he realized, no, he shouldn't talk about his reproductive organs, what if Dib would cut it off or something?! "And, thats all."

A loud buzzing noise came from the collar, before the green light became light blue and Zim's whole body got electrocuted, screaming in pain. "Liar liar, pants on fire." Dib said in a mocking tone, chuckling. "What do you have in there? Tell. Me. No lies." Dib's voice turned serious at that sentence, and Zim shook from the electricity, but also from the absolute horror of knowing he couldn't hide ANYTHING now. "I.." Zim tumbled around his words not knowing how to find the words as he said. "I also um..it regulates the bodily fluids, not just blood, I am sorry for lying." As punishment the collar shocked him again, and Zim almost lost conciousness at this one, but he got through it and groaned in pain.

Dib kept his eyes on Zim as he said "Come on..tell me." His voice was soft, as if he was sad and begging Zim to tell him. "Fine you want to know so badly, Dib?" As the human nodded with a smile, the scientist next to him clicked her pen open again. "It regulates my hormones, for when I go into heat or as you call it ovulation." As the collar made a clicking noise, as the color went to yellow before going to green. It didn't shock him this time. "Ah! So you do reproduce! Interesting." Dib smiled brightly with curiosity, as the scientist next to him noted everything down.

"Next question, what did your tallests do all day? Like did they conquer many planets and destroy them, anything else?" Dib asked as Zim hissed in anger, his claws popped out at the word 'tallests'. He hated them, they abandoned him on this planet and mocked him for years. They didn't deserve what they got, total conquest, they really didn't. "Ohh, how many of the horrid things they did." Zim hissed out, as the collar hummed a little louder. Zim wanted to kill Red and Purple in cold blood, see their bones popping out of their bodies, while they'd only scream at Zim to- "ZIM." Dib shouted, apparently Zim was gone for a few seconds, and the shout snapped him out of it. "Eh?" Zim said as his antennae popped up.

"I asked if you could elaborate on that, what happened to you and all the other irkens?" Dib replied, as Zim gulped and thought for a second. He coughed, before he spoke with a hiss in his already angry voice. "They did many things, so many horrid things, they made smeets fight- uhh, babies in your language. They electrocuted me on purpose, to try and pull the defective out of me, which actually just increased it! They would mock you nonstop, just for being SMALL or DEFORMED. All they do now is float in a stUPID LINE AND EAT SNACKS WHILE WATCHING THEIR PEOPLE DO EVERYTHI-" Zim's blood pressure went through the roof, and his heart beated so hard and loud, he could hear it on the outside. Dib soon put a hand on his shoulder, to pull Zim out of his breakdown. Zim gasped for air, coughing because he choked on his own spit. "Ackh- egh- I'm sorry it just- I hate them so incredibly much." Zim explained as Dib replied "I know, Zim." With a fake smile on his face, soon he let go of Zim.

"Last question for now, if I get any more of them I'll pull you out of your cell again." As Zim nodded. "Fine by me." It took a few seconds before Dib said "Can irkens form friendships?" As Zim gagged, and shook his head "I don't think so! Friendship is a huuuge weakness, I never had a friend nor did anyone el-" As the collar shocked Zim again as Zim hissed in pain, and put a claw against the collar trying to pull it off. "Ahh, another lie?" Dib asked as he kept talking "You DID have a companion didn't you, Zim? Who was it." As Zim kept silent for a second his antennae went down onto his skull as he remembered, the memories of his 'childhood' being etched into his pak.

"Zim hurry it up, we're late!" A loud deep nasal voice said as Zim shouted back "I know, give me a florpin moment!" He snapped on his soldier uniform as he ran to Skoodge, his best friend. "I'm here, I'm here!" As Skoodge smiled. "Great let's go, ya think commander Poki's gonna be angry?" And as they ran, Zim chuckled "Yeah, great right?!" With a big, toothy, malicious grin. "Aghh, Zim did you turn off my alarm on purpose?!" Skoodge cried out as they ran, and Zim replied with one of his famous loud throaty laughs "Ofcouuurse not, I would never do something like that!" As Skoodge replied "Yeah right! Don't lie to me!" And Zim giggled, saying "I'm sorry! I had to, Poki will pay more attention to us, even if its bad!" Skoodge laughed aswell now, as he said "Irk Zim, you're such a defective dork!"

Zim snapped back to reality, after those last words played in his mind. And Zim sniffled, holding back disgusting tears. "I-..did have, one." Zim finally said, as Dib looked surprised, and Zim kept speaking. "He was a small irken, like me. But he was a bit, well, big boned. His name was Skoodge, he would put up with everything I'd do, I'd- hehaha! I'd turn off his alarm so we would get into trouble, we fought monsters together, and-. and when we were just a minute old or so, we tried to escape the nursery where all smeets were kept, we did that together." As Zim's antennae vibrated, with the happy memories. His pak hummed loudly, as those memories flooded his body. Dib however, thought for a second and said. "Did Skoodge ever talk to you, after you got to earth?"

Zim went completely still. "He-..did not." as Dib said. "Why?" The thought flowed his mind as Zim said "He, finished his invasion so soon, I forgot to call him because of, you. You kept me so busy, I couldn't talk to him.." Sadness bubbled up in him again, as he said. "I never talked to him again! I haven't contacted him just to chat, ever since I was on foodcourtia! When I was in conventia I-..PUSHED, Skoodge away to beg for a planet.." As his guilt rose in him hard, it hit him like a arrow trough his gut. "Maybe, Skoodge didn't call me because he hates me.." Zim then went fully silent as a loud static came in his head, his pak clicking over and over. As Dib said "Ah, that could certainly be true. Well, lets take you back to your cell eh, alien?" As Zim didn't nod, but just jumped off the metal table. Dib snapped the shock collar off Zim's neck, and they started walking back, before Zim knew it he was back in the middle of his room. What if Skoodge did hate him? What if Skoodge did have enough of Zim, nobody really loved him did they?

"Remember, if you try escaping we'll kill you, Zim" Dib said in a cheery tone as he walked off, and Zim kept standing in the middle of the room. He had to find a way out of here, he had to.

That night Zim got a huge spit in his face, of insomnia. Zim had learned to sleep more, because these experiments tired him out so much. He thought about Skoodge over and over, all the things that happened, he all did it with Skoodge. The human Dib, did not compare to what Zim went through with the chubby Skoodge "Does he-..still care about me?" Zim mumbled to himself as a sob broke out of his throat, why was he crying? "I really am defective, I am crying." Zim cursed himself as he shot up from his bed, and looked up at the camera's as he hissed "..Break the camera's.." his mind shouted at him, as he softly repeated the words.

Soon he grabbed a loose stone from the floor and threw it at the camera's, he flipped his bed, and broke almost everything in the room as he soon fell to his knees and loudly sobbed. "What am I doing! I'm going crazy!!" As he stood up again, and looked around. "Everything is off now, they can't see me right? Okay, okay, I can do thi-" he got stopped by a really harsh zap on his back that came from a long tazer like machine that Dib held to the alien "AAAGH!!" Zim screeched in pain as he fell to the floor, seeing Dib open up the cage and look down on Zim. "You destroyed your room." The human softly said as Zim hissed. "I am done with this insanity, let m-me go." Zim struggled to get up, as he put his hands under his body to try and push it up, but sadly a boot stomped onto Zim's back and pushed him back to the ground roughly. "We made a agreement, you are my subject. I can't just let you leave, Zim." Dib said as Zim growled "Why are you so cruel to me?" Zim sobbed out, he was still feeling horrible and he just wanted to leave and go back to Gir, he had shut off the little robot so he wouldn't cause any trouble. But now, he wanted Gir so badly, he was so incredibly touch starved "Did you think I'd be nice to you, really?" Dib chuckled out, Zim hated it "I atleast thought you'd-...treat me, like a normal being.."

"You're not normal." Dib replied coldly "You're the paranormal, just a dumb animal." Dib kept talking, as Zim couldn't keep his sob in and sobbed. His tears spilling out once more, hiccups and groans spilling out of Zim's jaw, as Dib's eyes twitched a second before going back to the cold gaze. He slowly pulled his boot off Zim, and spoke again. "Tomorrow I'll pull you out of your room, I'll give you a meal since being in this room all of the day is obviously not good for your mental state." Zim looked with wide eyes at Dib "R-Really?" He asked with a shaky voice, as Dib nodded with the cold gaze. "We're fixing your room again, but I don't want this happening again that's why. You are very annoying Zim, like a child." And after those last words, Dib stormed off, slamming the cell door shut as he did. 

All Zim could do now was fall asleep, the breaking of the room made him tired, besides his bed was flipped so the floor would suffice for now. He closed his eyes, and drifted away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is short, I'm still figuring out how to make things longer. I'm still a beginner at fanfics <:/


End file.
